bittersweet victory

QUOTE
"it's a bittersweet victory, lovin' the ghost in front of me"
-Keep You, Sugarland

ok. first, this song is the sizzle. the entire song describes what it's like to love someone so much just to have them leave you. it was me for a few weeks after drew broke up with me. it's beautiful. if you can find and listen to it please do.

anyways.

sometimes, after someone breaks up with you you still see them. everyday. and talk to them. and love them. yet they only see you as a friend.

part of you is screaming and ripping and hurting. becuse you can't have them. never again. they will always just be a ghost. not what they can be, what they were. and it hurts like hell. seeing them happy when you're so unhappy.

another part of you is happy beyond belief. if they spend time with you it's almost like you're still together. almost like they still love you. even though you know it's all unture, it still pays to lie to yourself.

it's a victory, because you can still see them. but it's bittersweet because afterwards you feel awful. you still love this person who is a ghost.

the only thing you can do is take a step back and figure out what's right for you. sometimes it's not tlkign to them ever again. just quitting them cold. other times it's just stopping for a little while and beginning again when you can handle it. (i.e. are over them) sometimes you can stay and you will find someone else whileyou see them. there might be soemthign else that works. it all depends on the person. all i know is that it's really hard to do. i would know. but it can be done.

hayley